What does it mean?!

Sometimes on Sunday morning I'm tired. Sometimes it's rainy and a cup of coffee isn't enough. Sometimes the music is playing and people are singing and so I sing too. Empty words.

Empty not because the songs lack meaning, but because I'm pretending. It's easy to pretend on those mornings (or nights or afternoons or... substitute your time of church attendance here).

I think you're all lying if you tell me that I am the only person who goes through these motions sometimes. Lying is clearly worse than pretending.... okay, now I'm lying too. Even?

Music has always been one of my primary outlets for worship. I've found ways to connect with God that I had never discovered before except through song. But that doesn't mean that I'm always in it. It is painful when I realize that I am merely saying words.

And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. Matthew 6:5

I am simply making noise.

On Saturday we attended a funeral for a 45 year old man who died quite suddenly and tragically, leaving behind a wife and four children. During the service the group was asked to join in several songs. In that moment the words of those songs meant more and went deeper than they have in a long time.

But why can't they mean those same things on a Sunday morning?

Perspective.

Sometimes on a Sunday, I'm tired. Revy wanted to take his time trying to find a spot to go when I took him out. I've run around trying to get ready, printing things for Aaron, getting my stuff together, etc. My perspective, by the time I get to church, is not in the right place on those mornings.

But when you're reminded of how fleeting life is, and of the reason living is even worth it? Your perspective is severely altered.

If living everyday like someone had died wasn't so somber, I'd say it's what I needed. But then again... someone did. For me. For everything.