what does it mean?

Lately we've been meeting with a group of friends, talking about God and Church and change. Our main point has been this idea of "Love God, Love People, Live Love." Just as we've been going through and dialoging on the subject, I have been really interested in dissecting that more in my life. What does it mean for Lindsey to do these things? 

I feel like they are all three so much easier said than done. I feel like we take God's love for granted. We figure that it is just something that we have, we can pull it out when we need it and we know that He will always be there. In a way, loving God is our fail safe. 

I have friends who say they're not sure they're Christians anymore. But what does that mean? Did they just wake up one day and decide they didn't love God anymore? On my xanga, that I had before this blog, my headline was "Love Conquers all ... God is Love." But what does that really look like?

I have this song that I sing when I am driving down the road and someone upsets me - "I hate People I hope they all die!" and I sing it over and over until my moment of frustration has passed. It works so well that many of my friends, my mom, and my aunt all now sing  it various frustrating situations. But why is it so effective? Why is it so hard to love people? 

I think human nature plays a huge part in this, but I want to know what that is for me. What it looks like and why I seem to have and ability to fully love my neighbor as my self... because obviously I deserve so much better than they do. Which doesn't really make sense. And it's why Chad and I hit each other growing up: "He hits me so that is the way he wants to be treated!"

Living Love is something I have tried to strive for for a while. The results have been dismal. How can someone who hates people and hopes they all die truly be living love in every avenue of life? 

Yesterday we saw Doubt and there was analogy used in a sermon portion of the movie that really resonates true with this idea. A woman goes to confess to her priest and says she's been gossiping, she knows it's wrong and would like to repent. The priest tells her to go onto her roof and cut open a pillow with a knife. She does so and the feathers spread everywhere. She goes back to the priest and he tells her to now go and pick up all of the feathers that came from the pillow. She says "that's impossible, there were millions and they went everywhere." The priest says "That is gossip." And it makes me think, how can a culture who so dearly loves to gossip be living love? 

I'll be dealing with these in my own life soon. This was just my intro. 

-love-